Day 106: A song you have to change right away if it comes on the radio.

“Technologic” – Daft Punk

TechnologicI know that Daft Punk have been around for a very long time, but they weren’t on my radar until recently.

I also know that they were the darlings of the 2014 Grammys, receiving statues for Best Dance/Electronica Album, Album of the Year and Best Engineered Album, (Non-Classical) for their album Random Access Memories, while “Get Lucky” received the Grammy for Best Pop Duo/Group Performance and the Record of the Year. (Thanks, Wikipedia!). Before that, I had no idea who (or what) they were, whether they were a duo (they are) or a band, that they dressed like robots, or really anything about them at all. Hell, I was so out of touch I’m not even sure I’d heard “Get Lucky” before the Grammys. (But I’m pretty sure I had.)

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I do like “Get Lucky.” Although, before the Grammys, if you had put a gun to my head and asked me when it was made, I would have sworn it was something from 1979.

Previous to that, my only knowledge of Daft Punk was “Technologic.” And if you make me listen to “Technologic,” I will ask you to put a gun up to my head.

Oh. My. God. How freakin’ annoying.

If you’re not familiar with this 2005 “song,” it’s basically some really weird-pitched, modified voice saying to “<verb> it.”  Over and over and over. Like, “Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it, drag it, drop it, zip, unzip it.” (Thanks, Wikipedia!) Three hundred and fifty times in total, apparently.

And that is three hundred and forty-nine too many. (And possible even three hundred and fifty too many.)

All it takes for me to go diving for the radio or iPod controls (Laura has it on hers, it will never touch mine) is to hear the first couple of words. This is even worse than “The Macarena,” and for anyone who knows me, they know that’s saying a lot.

I have to believe that Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney love this song. Because, much like water-boarding, it’s legal torture. Put a terror suspect in a room with this song on repeat, and he’ll be singing like a bird, sobbing and screaming “I’ll tell you anything you want! Please, just make it stop!” before it’s finished playing once. To that end, even though it’s not listed in the lyrics, I bet they even say “Spill it” in there somewhere. Or maybe that’s only in the “CIA Remix.”

If you’re a fan of repetition, this is your song. But even if you are, I urge you to keep sharp objects away. Because you never know when a loved one might come in, hear it, and want to plunge an ice pick into their ear. Which gets messy.

And then you’ll need to “Mop it, spray it, wipe it, clean it/start it, dial it, call – explain it.”

To the authorities, that is.